sábado, 7 de junio de 2014


Every time when i read online on autism mum forums or elsewhere, I read how the mums struggle and how they have to be the advocate for their special ones..

I always thought, well we are lucky because Livia is apart from her autism a happy child, very relaxed and goes her own little way...

But lately I am starting to feel different and am very stressed about Livia and her future. 
I know she is only three years old, but I have to think about those things because well .. i am her mum....

Loads a things are going around in my head... 

Does she have enough therapy? i thought about this a lot and even made an appointment for next tuesday to go to a centre for intensive therapy in the house.. Even though i know we wouldnt be able to afford such a therapy..

Was it a good decision to let her go to mainstream school in september?
What if she doesnt fit in and is regressing instead of progressing?
What about the future, how i am going to explain Sofia that her sister doesnt really want to play with her?, and even.. what if something happens to us? do we have to make those decisions already? 

And many many more..

Also I feel very isolated in my thoughts.. I don't know people around here who are in the same position as me. I thought about support groups , even looked them up and asked around for it, but then they are all talking Catalan.. what am I going to do .. just sit and nod, even feeling more isolated because And I have a child with autism , And I dont speak the language..

Most of all I feel guilty for having to work so much and not being able to be there for her and help her in her progress as I want so badly. But also I am not a stay-at-home person, so then i feel guilty to not being like that..

I feel confused and angry and sad.. 

I am sorry for the rant and the not so happy lively post on this Saturday evening, but I needed to do this.. 

have a good evening all and till soon.

1 comentario:

  1. These are all big worries, and many of them to some extent affect every parent, whether we have kids with special needs or not. For example, I know who's taking Dom if anything happens to me and Mat, and when we think about having another baby, one of the major factors for me is that he would have someone here who shares his culture in a way nobody in my family can.

    Obviously, your case is slightly different, and the guilt that's par for the course for all mums is probably a little closer to the surface. I don't have much advice, though I would say not to worry too much about Sofía - everyone has their own version of "normal", and her life, and sister, is to her exactly what it's meant to be.

    Apart from that I can't help much, except to put you in touch with a friend of mine in the UK, if you like. Her daughter has Angelman Syndrome and autism so she understands what you're going through, but of course, she's not here.

    The only thing I can offer personally is time and friendship. I've neglected you lately and I'm sorry, let's do something soon. I don't understand your specific struggles, but I can at least be a friendly ear to rant into!